Sitting Ovation: Coming Full Circle

By John C. Gyorki

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Best day of his life

It was a fair, overcast January day in 1979 on the West coast at MCRD (Marine Corp Recruit Depot) San Diego California. The smell of ocean air permeated the grounds. A young Marine waited patiently with his platoon. Gut churning at the thought of the ceremony, sweat drained down his cheeks and under his clothes. He felt a slight tremor inside. The whole graduation ordeal and coupled with his hopeful expectations of family being present in the audience plunged him into trepidation. Finally, his name was called. He stood and marched military style towards the center stage to be recognized for his meritorious promotion to Private First Class. This was the payoff after a grueling 13 weeks of Marine Corp boot camp. He turned to face the crowd executing precision motions. He stood rigid. Hands at his side. Chest puffed out. He finally rested into the position of attention. He moved as sharp as he could just in case his father was watching, or if anyone he knew was present; however, he began to realize that no one from his family would be in the audience to share in his moment of graduation victory. He stared into a faceless crowd for what seemed like an eternity, only to feel the heat from the bright lights upon his face. His name announced, an award given, it was over. He left the stage with an emptiness so deep, it left him emotionally paralyzed, but sadly, he completely understood why his father was not there.

Reflecting Back

The young 18-year-old Marine was me many years ago. Before I took the stage, I knew deep in my heart no one would be there, but there was always this hope, maybe—just maybe—it will turn out differently this time. Actually, one of many occasions that I missed out on deliberately over the course of my life was an event called family day. This is an event where any family member can experience a brief visit with the recruit. I fantasized about how this may have looked if my family life were different. Since I was not very athletic, this would have been something grand to show my Dad. I was in the best shape of my life. I wanted him to see his son as a lean, mean fighting machine of the United States Marine Corp! I wanted to prove that I had made the right choice and let him see first-hand that I could survive on my own. I wanted to assure him that he did not have to worry about me anymore. He could focus solely on the care of my little sister and salvage his relationship with my Mom.

Deciding to Leave Home

I remember so vividly how I laid there the night before, tossing and turning, wondering if I had made the right decision to join the Marines. I was so overwhelmed with guilt and the feeling of abandoning my little sister who is nine years younger than I; after all, I was her protector. My head was spinning with every scenario imaginable. We all have ways of convincing ourselves and justifying our situation. My father would have gladly paid my way through college, but I did not want to burden him. My thought was to remove myself from the family. I wanted less for Dad to concern himself with; our Mom was a handful.

Most people who were a part of our lives back then would have thought we were all on a sinking ship because of Mom’s issues. Truthfully, we were. I did not jump ship to save myself. I loved my family, problems and all. That’s what family is all about, right? You stick together and make sacrifices for each other. So I did just that; I sacrificed myself and enlisted in the Marines. What a great option. No money needed. Just sign the dotted line, and you become government property for six years. It may have looked foolish to others, but it proved to be one of the best decisions I ever made for myself. The Marine Corp gave me an education that was priceless. It was regimented stability.

A deeper look inward

Our experiences are a culmination of our existence. As young people, we think differently as opposed to the person we are after we grow and mature. Along the way, our wisdom increases and our viewpoints change. Back then, my world was so confusing, and I didn’t know what to compare my life to; what I did compare it to were unrealistic expectations. I continually set myself up for disappointment. Around my mid-thirties, I came to a realization; back in those early years, I had no idea how severe my mother’s addiction was; it consumed her. I was so confused about my mother’s problems.; yet, I loved and respected her, just not her behavior. The vicious cycle played out more times than I can count. Those emotional entanglements bled over into my life as well, and yes, I did have to work through them. It afforded me the opportunity to view life through a different lens. As ugly and messy as the circumstance had been, it brought me to a place of contentment and allowed me to forgive. I believe we were gifted to our circumstance by providence. When I finally understood this concept, it was like a heavy weight was removed from my weary soul. I would encourage anyone to get to a place of peace. It is a personal choice to purge oneself of emotional toxins and take ownership of the moment; lose your sense of being a victim, and use your hurt to heal another. This is what grace and blessings are all about.

I decided to go

The morning arrived when the Marine recruiter came to get me and take me to Detroit for departure into the unknown. I walked into my sister’s room to say goodbye. A wave of despair came over her. She began crying and begging me not to leave. We were holding each other so tightly—my little sister melted into me as though we became one. Those little hands of hers were gripping me like her life depended on it. Finally, I let go only to leave her in a wake of doubt. I felt so numb and torn. As I approached the door to leave, I said my goodbyes to a family who was staying with us at the time. My father offered the lower level of our home for them to use while their home was being built. As I turned to towards Dad, I told him I would be fine, not to worry. He was grieved as well; he was not hiding his tears very well either. Finally, I turned to my Mom. There was that familiar aroma of alcohol from her breath which permeated the air surrounding her from the night before. I walked up to her to say goodbye. She had tears in her eyes. Her head was held low; she knew why I was doing this. I kissed her forehead and told her I loved her and not to worry.

The recruiter was waiting outside patiently. I climbed into his car. We had two more stops to make. I was dead silent the whole trip; I was worried about what was to come, and the image of my little sister’s grief reran in my mind. The recruiter asked if I was alright, I replied a very weak, “yeah.” As we drove along Highway I-96 East, heading towards Detroit, I noticed off to my left a beautiful glow in the sky. I was taken aback by this heavenly body. I had a wave of momentary peace come over me. I sensed my Heavenly Father was watching over me. The Marine recruiter said, “it’s the Northern Lights, also known as Aurora Borealis. I replied, “never saw it before.” How fitting it was for this phenomenon to occur that morning. I will never forget that day as long as I live.

The Circle Complete: The Best day of My Life

Fast forward 29 years. Ironically, it was a fair, overcast January day 2008 on the East coast at MCRD (Marine Corp Recruit Depot) Parris Island, South Carolina. The scent of ocean air gave a deep sentiment of peace that day. I was attending a graduation with my fiancé (now wife) for her son. We also attended family day, the day before graduation, with him. My Father and Stepmother were invited to attend Graduation day ceremony as well. They both lived in South Carolina not too far from Parris Island.

As we waited and sat in the grandstand, I observed in great detail the interactions of people coming in to be seated. No one really knew what to expect. This time, I was in the crowd feeling good about being supportive for someone else. As I sat there, I was reflecting on my time in the Marine Corp. I was thinking about how good my future stepson must feel about his family being present in the crowd. Of course, I began to dwell on the memory of my graduation.

The Marine Corp Band played every military ballad imaginable, flawlessly. When the time arrived to begin the graduation ceremony, a larger than life voice spoke over the loudspeaker system to give a welcome to the audience. What was about to happen totally caught me off guard. The voice on the speaker called out and asked all former Marines to stand up and be recognized for their past service. So I stood and snapped to the position of attention. Hands at my side looking forward, chest puffed out to honor the Corp, I looked straight at the American flag and started to think about what happened all those years ago. Really? I thought I had put all these memories behind me. Tears started to roll down my face as those old memories surfaced again. I did not want anyone to see me. I tried fighting my tears back, despite my vigorous efforts, I could not. I was not able to utter a word. My throat was too choked up; it wouldn’t allow it. For whatever reason, I glanced down to my left, and to my surprise, there my father was looking up at me with tears pooled in his eyes—beaming with pride. I’ll never forget the words I heard.  He said, “Wow Johnny, you are a Marine.” I said, “Yes I am Pops, yes I am.” At that very moment, I felt an old burden dissipate. I was astounded by the heaviness my heart had carried all those years. In the end, I finally received my father’s approval that I so desperately longed to attain. I came full circle.

John C. Gyorki

John

Bio:

John is currently an Electrical Skilled Tradesman for the University of Michigan. He has over 32 years experience in his field. He resides in Southern Michigan with his wife, Maryann. He spent four years in the Marine Corp as a 7011 (Aircraft Launch & Recovery Tech). After his tour, he completed a four-year Inside Wireman Electrical Apprenticeship with I.B.E.W. (International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers).

 At a very young age, John developed a love for reading and hoarding books and has continued to do so. It wasn’t uncommon to see him writing notes about something. John believes inspiration comes from an intentional reading of the word and following the Lord. He feels it encourages better living and thinking.

 When John is not working, writing, and reading, he is trying his best at being a husband, father, grandfather, brother, son, friend, and uncle. On occasion, you’ll see him making sausage and jerky or fermenting cabbage and pickles. He is always put in charge of making Hungarian Goulash over an open pit fire. No one else is allowed!

 “My goal is to foster traditional family community and common sense thinking.”

 “I enjoy reading books about personal life experiences. When people are at their lowest, broken point, and then making a victorious comeback.”

John C. Gyorki

 John is new to the writing and blogging world

You can join him at ThinkerMe.com or email at john@ThinkerMe.com

 

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S.W. Biddulph

Scott Biddulph is a published writer, author, and poet from North Georgia. He began writing as a youngster and followed his lifelong dream of reaching people through the written word when he returned to The University of North Georgia in 2013 to finish earning his BA/English with a concentration on publication and creative writing. His publications include the following: an eBook, Apples of Gold: A collection of inspirational short stories and poems (Smashwords, 2010) and a paperback, Voices from the Heart, (Createspace, 2012). His poetry is published in Papers and Publications Undergraduate Research Journal. Vol 3 (2014) and the award-winning Chestatee Review (Spring, 2015), among other places (Check his LinkedIn profile for a full list of his publications). He is currently working on publishing poetry, creative non-fiction, academic essays, and his memoir. Scott has also worked as an intern editor for the University of North Georgia Press. As a freelance editor, he has done the layout and design of several books and magazines. He is currently working with several authors on various publication projects in which he is either ghostwriting, editing manuscripts, or doing the layout and design. Scott continues working on his memoir Twisted Ride. He also maintains a Christian blog: A Disciple's Journey. Finally, and most importantly, he is a father, grandfather, husband, and dedicated Harley Davidson rider (with a huge beard). He and his family enjoy the beauty of the North Georgia Mountains where they live—especially their screened in back porch where they love to bird watch. - "I love realism. I love writing about the raw, down-to-Earth, heartfelt realities of life. I love to write in a way that reaches into the human soul. I love to take the greatest pains and struggles in life, and make them a blessing to others. Fantasy is a wonderful, interesting thing—but real life situations, feelings, fears, and dreams are an unexplored ocean of stories that need to be told." ~Scott Biddulph~

18 comments

  1. John, I did miss this one! Thankful you shared it again, because it is certainly a post I wouldn’t want to miss altogether.
    This post touched me deeply and I too can’t contain the tears that are flowing. Tears of sadness for the lost years and missed opportunities; and tears of joy that GRACE Himself redeems all things. Although it was 29 years later, you did finally get the affirmation you sought from your father at a time and place you never expected.
    I love your statement “I believe we were gifted to our circumstances by providence. When I finally understood this concept, it was like a heavy weight was removed from my weary soul. I would encourage anyone to get to a place of peace. It is a personal choice to purge oneself of emotional toxins and take ownership of the moment; lose your sense of being a victim, and use your hurt to heal another. This is what grace and blessings are all about.”
    You made the above referenced choice and that my dear John is just as worthy of a sitting ovation as is you service in the Marines. For you see, it shows the kind of man you grew to be.
    Thank you for your service to our country, and thank you for sharing such a bitter-sweet story. God Bless you and yours!

    Like

  2. Hello O.T.John,

    You must be very proud, both for your writing achievement and the endorsement received from family and friends. Well done.

    And thank you for opening up your personal life and feelings to readers and fellow-writers. A brave thing to do.

    May you enjoy many more feelings of euphoria at achieving publication.

    Regards

    Carol

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Johnny, you brought tears to my eyes as I read your beautiful circle. John would be so very proud of you. I never knew you had this great talent. I know Margit is beaming. You need to write more. Merry Christmas! Love, Joan Earnhart – Knowles Island, South Carolina

    Liked by 2 people

  4. My name is Jena, I am Johns Daughter. Dad, I cannot tell you how proud I am of you! You are the #1 person I look up to in my life, and the same goes for Dominic (my husband) you are OUR HERO. Love you! So proud of you!
    Love, your little girl

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Writing Daily featured Johns article. That is quick!!! The website determines the articles it will feature based on hits/ popularity. Congrats John!!! This also speaks volumes about the growth of “Two Drops of Ink”. We are being noticed more and more daily. Thanks to all of our readers, writers and outstanding editors.

    Liked by 2 people

      • This is the link to the edition of The Writing Daily that featured your article. It is an online newspaper that promotes writers, authors and blogs. I created it through paper.li.com Anyone can create one based on your interests and it will automatically curate articles and headlines based on the subjects that interest you. It shows us the growth on Two Drops of Ink. The more hits the site receives on a post the site will list it in the feed. paperhttps://paper.li/LOyetunji/1462823961?edition_id=506f46a0-2993-11e6-96e8-0cc47a0d1609

        Liked by 2 people

  6. Wow, my eyes are welling up, seriously! Thank you Lydia, Mary Jo! I have a very special thanks to Scott for polishing my words to a Marine Corp spit shine standard. The man is awesome! A special thank you to Marilyn for her gifted hand in this as well and for her writing that touched me to have the courage to write this.Thank you everyone.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Hi, John, you’re welcome. There’s a wonderful saying that I’ll paraphrase. It goes something like lighting another candle does not diminish my light. If I had a small part in encouraging you to use your talents and find the courage to submit, then it’s your turn to find another writer who just needs your light to ignite theirs. That’s so much a part of our intent here at Two Drops of Ink – encouraging and nourishing other writers and in doing so, we are enriched as well. There are probably some on your Intentional Blog page that would benefit from your experience.

      Again, thank you John for the post, but just as importantly, thank you for sticking with your intention to write. Can I say, Semper fi if I wasn’t in the Marines? She smiles.

      Liked by 3 people

  7. h your literary skills. You are a wonderful writer. Thank you so much and thank you for your service. During my time in the Navy I used to love hanging out O-M-G!!! John, I’m almost speechless!!! Lovely memoir. I got goose bumps and drawn to tears. Your story runs along the lines of my own personal story. I can barely type due to shaking. You took me back to my past! It is beautiful when you can read a writers words and all five senses go into overload. I’m absolutely happy and grateful you have finally graced us with your great words. During my time in the Navy I had the honor of hanging with the Marines and Navy Gunners they were the coolest and made me into the strong woman I am today. I hope you write more!!! Sitting Ovation!!!!

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Hi, John, welcome to Two Drops of Ink. This was a wonderful glimpse into your life, your values and your beliefs. I appreciate the honesty and your ability to reflect. Full-circle is right, and that is what makes life so interesting. Thank you for joining us and for your service to your country and us.

    Liked by 3 people

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