Writer’s Limbo: Caught between the Muses

A Note from the Editor:

I found this little piece to be a great exposé of the writing process. We get a look into the authors mind as she-Dr. Sinor-struggles with the idea of taking on the massive task of writing another book. Like an athelete that just finished a sprint, she seems desperate to just sit back and enjoy her newly released book. Yet, duty calls. Enjoy. 

By Barbara Sinor, Ph.D

As I sit at my keyboard this morning, I begin to wonder if another book resides within me that must be written. I promised my readers there would be a sequel to my first fiction attempt; my publisher stated that fact at the end of the book. However, there is a large part of me that wants to bask in the glow of my seventh book’s release. I want to celebrate for a solid year and talk to everyone about how I came up with the unusual story. I want to share how it took me three years to write the book, to have multiple readings and signings, and how I like to check Amazon each week and revel at how well it is being received by the public. Now, as I glare at my computer’s blank screen, all the above seems dry in comparison to pushing my creative mind to search my characters’ fictitious lifetimes and develop even more chapters for them to manifest their stories into my receptive fingers.
Writing a book is a task of will, time, and the courage to fail if required. The task also involves finding words one has never heard or spoken in conversation, words that must gather the emotions of people in every corner of the world. It is a mind rummage of adjectives and verbs pushed almost remotely to fit a sentence sideways while unfolding a vision forward to hit each brain cell with color, taste, smell, and feelings – that deep within – stir the imagination and instruct the reader to linger. Writing a book is a task of inner power against outer; it is a twisting of fictional plots to mold an undetermined entrance and exit of characters which whisper their own importance into your ear. It is a constant hum within that signals research, notes, dreams, and laughter at how your life must change to accommodate the words that spring into paragraphs forming another tirade full of adventure.

Quiet, there must be quiet when writing! The silence brings the pictures of windows viewing fields filled with lavender, or muddy horse hooves tracing the street like modern art. The quiet walls of my office echo sounds of unreasoning bullies and petite voices of children screaming near the river’s edge. Yes, the walls speak to a writer, as do the birds and the trees as they display their leaves changing shades like chameleons at the county fair. When my mind is deep in writer’s concentration and my Havanese mix speaks up to let me know I have once again forgotten her mealtime, the silent meditation of fumbling for the correct word to use as a profound way to end a sentence is shattered, and will never be retrieved. Silence is a necessary Evil, deafening that no words have been written in weeks, and self-set deadlines soon will appear like runners’ end-line ribbons strung across the track, only to be broken. I can only write when my house is quiet and my keyboard shouts its tap tap tap that consoles my writer’s soul. Perhaps the dark winter months will bring my muse to my side once again.

As I wrote in my first article, “Write About It!” in this Blog, the theme of women’s rights seemed to peer between the lines giving the book more substance than I had intended. I honored my inner-knowing for taking the risk to allow my personal beliefs to surface. Can I share other aspects of my beliefs? Can I choose to address issues that hide in my mind? Sharing my experience with spiritual manifestation and creating reality to form my journey through loss and pain was what I based the book on, how can I top that? Do I even have the fortitude to withdraw from social circles and bury myself in grammar, edits, and stories given to me by a muse that logically seems too old to understand what the reading public even desires? Do I have the stamina to be awakened many nights from a restful sleep, or deep within a dream of memories with loved ones, to be pulled from warmth to place my fingers yet again over cold keyboard letters worn unrecognizable to form unending sentences that may be erased when reread in the consciousness of dawn? Does my brain even contain one more imaginary scene to gather enough speed to create a sentence, a paragraph, a chapter to develop a storyline worthy of my characters, and worth reading? Scores of questions keep circling my aura as if to tease me into making a decision– should I begin writing another book?



Barbara Sinor, Ph.D. is a retired psychotherapist living in northern California.Finding Destiny is Sinor’s long awaited first fiction novel, release date September 1, 2016. Her other six books are highly endorsed in the non-fiction genres of addiction recovery, childhood abuse/incest, adult children of alcoholics, and other self-help and inspirational topics. Dr. Sinor encourages your comments and can be contacted through her website:  www.Dr.Sinor.com. Sinor’s other writing appears in the quarterly Recovering the Self: A Journal of Hope and Healing, as well as other magazines, newsletters, and Blogs. She currently facilitates women’s groups, designs and makes jewelry, and is working on the sequel to Finding Destiny.

Published posts on Two Drops of Ink:

  1. Dr. Barbara Sinor talks about stepping out of your writing comfort zone: Write About It!

  2. Inspirational Self-Help Author Dr. Barbara Sinor Publishes Debut Novel


To help you find and use your muse, these posts may inspire you as well.

Meeting the Muse: By: Marilyn L. Davis

Waiting on your Muse: By Michelle Gunnin




One comment

  1. Barbara, thank you for such a candid glimpse into an author’s life. As I read through your post, I could vividly imagine working the process you described. As a novice writer, I daydream about someday aspiring to what you have accomplished already. My current struggle is not being consistent in writing every day and trying to balance my obligations. It is refreshing to see and read about your challenges. To me, it makes you a genuine person. It also inspires me to believe hard work does bring rewards over time.

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